One day this girl was talking to her friend and she said to her, “My boyfriend bought me flowers for Valentines day this year so I guess I have to put my legs in the air for him.”, and her friend replied, “Why? Don’t you have a vase?”
Posts Tagged ‘girlfriend’
Valentines day
Wednesday, July 21st, 2010Your girlfriend is ugly when…
Tuesday, June 22nd, 20101 – She looks out the window and gets arrested for indecent exposure.
2 – As a baby, she had to be breast-fed by the family dog.
4 – She startles the animals at the zoo.
5 – On Halloween, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
6 – She makes onions cry.
7 – Her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a box of milk duds.
8 – Her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.
9 – The plastic surgeon wanted to add a tail.
10 – When she was born, the doctor slapped her mother.
Crotchless panties
Monday, June 21st, 2010One day a girl decided to buy some crotchless panties to surprise her boyfriend. She went and bought them, got home, put them on and waited.
When the boyfriend got home there she was spread eagle on the bed with only her panties and bra on. “Come over here baby.” she says smiling. The boyfriend backs off, “If your pussy can do that to your panties – I ain’t going any where near it!”
Driving the girlfriend home
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009A Guy is driving his girlfriend home when she decides she wants to go to her friends instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she tells her boyfriend that she would get naked for him if he drove her. The guy says ok and the girl takes off all her clothes. The boyfriend is so busy looking at her that he stacks the car and gets stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. He tells her to go get help and she replied that she couldn’t because she didn’t have any clothes on. He replies, “Take my shoe and cover your snatch with it, and go for help!”
She takes the shoe and runs to the closest gas station. She finds the clerk and says, “Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?” The clerk replies, “I’m sorry, I think he’s too far in!”
The date
Sunday, September 20th, 2009Well, one night a boy and his girlfriend are out on a date and as the boy pull in his girlfriends drive-way to let her out she tells him to come over the next night for dinner and meet her parents. The boy agrees and the girl says to him that after dinner they will make love. Well the boy agrees and as he is on his way home, he thinks to himself ,”This will be my first time sleeping with someone, so before I go over to her house ill stop by the pharmacy and buy some condoms”. Well that day went by and they young boy was on his way to the pharmacy, and as he purchased the condoms the pharmacist gives him a mean look, the boy thinks nothing of it and goes on. Well, when the boy is at his girlfriends house, her mother asks him to say the blessing before dinner, well the boy is going on and on about stuff during the prayer and his girlfriend leans to him and says ” I didn’t know you were such a religious person” and the boy says back ” I didn’t know your dad is a pharmacist”.