A pregnant woman with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician’s office. After the exam, she shyly said, “My husband wants me to ask you…”, to which the doctor replies “I know…I know…” placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.” “No, that’s not it,” the woman confessed. “He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.”
Posts Tagged ‘doctor’
At the obstetrician’s office
Saturday, May 22nd, 2010Good news and bad news
Thursday, April 22nd, 2010“I’ve got some good news and some bad news” the doctor says.
“What’s the bad news?” asks the patient. “The bad news is that unfortunately you’ve only got 3 months to live”. The patient is taken back, “What’s the good news then Doctor?”. The doctor points over to the secretary at the front desk, “You see that blonde with the big breasts, tight ass and legs that go all the way up to heaven?”, the patient shakes his head and the doctor replies, “I’m fucking her.”
The seven most important men in a woman’s life
Wednesday, April 21st, 2010The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life
1. The Doctor – who tells her to “take off all her clothes.”
2. The Dentist – who tells her to “open wide.”
3. The Milkman – who asks her “do you want it in the front or the back?”
4. The Hairdresser – who asks her “do you want it teased or blown?”
5. The Interior Designer – who assures her “once it’s inside, you’ll LOVE it!”
6. The Banker – who insists to her “if you take it out too soon, you’ll lose interest!”
7. The Primal Hunter – who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her “Keep quiet and lie still!”
Beautiful woman at the doctors office
Monday, April 19th, 2010This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window…
He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
“Do you know what I am doing?” asks the doctor?
“Yes, checking for abnormalities.” she replies.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, “Do you know what I am doing now?”, she replies, “Yes, checking for cancer.”
Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, “Do you know what I am doing now?”
She replies, “Yes, getting herpies – thats why I am here!”
Can’t obtain an erection
Sunday, September 20th, 2009A guy can’t obtain an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there’s nothing he can do unless he’s willing to try an experimental surgery. The guy asks what the surgery is. The doctor tells him they take the muscles from the base of a baby elephants trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best. The guy says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier so go ahead. The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later gives him the go ahead to “try out his new equipment”. The guy takes his girlfriend out to dinner. While at dinner he starts feeling an incredible pressure in his pants. It gets incredibly unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants. No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs a dinner roll, and disappears back into his pants. His girlfriend sits in shock for a few moments, then gets a sly look on her face. She says “That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?” With his eyes watering and a painful expression on his face, he says “Probably, but I don’t know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!”.